Little Lark of London

“She’s beauty, she’s grace, she’s from outer space!”

Juno Birch: Probed begins with Birch being wheeled out in a rolling chair to great applause from the audience, immediately recognisable from her blonde beehive wig and pastel blue skin, her drag persona being an alien who has crashed to Earth. She lipsynches to a song about how gorgeous she is as the audience shows its approval through cheers. 

For those unfamiliar with Birch, she is a transgender drag queen from Manchester who began performing in 2018, combining her passion for sculpting with a desire to perform in drag. Many have found her through her YouTube channel, where she plays The Sims and does makeup tutorials, amongst other things. In Probed, however, Birch has a bone to pick about the way things are on Earth, and she’s going to share it with the audience. 

We begin with a list of information that must be read out before the show, something that Birch claims will be quick before whipping out a scroll of paper that could be compared to a CVS receipt. One of the bullet points on her list that sets the tone for the rest of the show? “If you are a child . . . No.” Indeed, this is not a show meant for kids, as Birch promises that, instead of seeing the “nice” persona she puts on for YouTube videos, we will be seeing the c*nty version of herself. 

Once we have gotten the introductions out of the way, Birch is able to jump into the comedy, which she does with a bit on mental health, confessing the joy she finds in her comfort movie, Ratatouille. There are several jokes about her appearance, including comparing her hair to that of serial killer  Myra Hindley, just “without the murderous streak” – quite an underrated joke, in my opinion. This is just the first of many dark jokes within the show as, when hearing the reactions of the audience, Birch simply says, “Buckle up, bitches!” 

In one segment, Birch tells us about things she doesn’t like about living on Earth, ranging from the self-serve machines in Tesco to Autocorrect incorrectly changing her own name to “Junk Bitch.” She also attempts to be more relatable to humans, telling us about how she used to play football as an alien child and also worked at a YO! Sushi for one day. The absolute highlight of the show comes from Birch’s lipsyncing duet with her daughter, Judith Louise, a baby doll painted blue, its lolling head barely holding onto a wig made in a similar fashion to Birch’s. The mother-daughter duo perform “Big Spender” from Sweet Charity to the biggest laughs of the night. 

One thing I wish Birch had done with this show was lean more into her drag alien persona. Some moments go into more about being an alien, like discussing alien conspiracy theories, but many of the bits are about Birch’s own life, including her attempts to try to stop smoking and her hatred of children. There is a segment at the end in which she explains that becoming an alien is a way she can represent the way she felt before transitioning, struggling with gender dysphoria, but this could have been utilised more throughout the show to have a stronger impact. As Birch herself says, “Being an alien is not a bad thing at all,” so why not show more of it? 

Ultimately, Juno Birch: Probed is a fun show that combines drag and stand-up, giving Birch the opportunity to show off her comedy skills while still remaining within the alien persona. I would have loved to see more about Birch’s character, but it is impossible to not enjoy her performance, whether she is cracking jokes or discussing growing up as an alien.

Juno Birch: Probed runs from 5 to 16 November at Soho Theatre. For more information and to purchase tickets, click here.